Sam Rainer wrote a great blog post the other day. He delineates what it means to be a poor leader that is "friendly" but also toxic and controlling.

Here are some of his bullet points:

• They avoid conflict at all costs or anything else that may affect their friendly image.
• They are liked by outsiders, but they irritate insiders. People who report to friendly dictators typically do not despise their bosses. But these followers do feel trapped and irritated. For example, a congregation may have no clue about the leadership style of their pastor, and the direct reports cannot address the issue with the leader because he’s not self-aware enough to realize his problems.
• They insist on relaying all the good news to the congregation; they also figure out ways to have others communicate bad news.
• They micro-manage irrelevant details. Amiable autocrats waste hours of staff meetings discussing irrelevant topics and details. They’re more concerned with things like service order than with things like the discipleship process. They will dictate instructions on the minutia and neglect the bigger picture.

Read the rest of his explanation and bullet points on his blog.

How can we avoid the pitfalls of becoming an Amiable Autocrat?