I didn't think it was possible - 6 weeks away from the world as I knew it...away from anything & everything requiring wires, chords, and batteries. No cell phone for 6 weeks?! No computer for 6 weeks?! What about facebook??? (Well, let's be honest, my facebook was entirely automated anyway). But not twitter! My personal twitter would surely suffer, and what about the @catalystleader twitter??? Again, let's be honest, Jesse has that on lock down - he's our twitter guru. Who knows, maybe @catalystleader would benefit from the lack of personal tweets reminding everyone that I live in Orange County paradise, "hey everyone, weather for today - yup, 70, sunny, and perfect! :)" Beyond the social media losses would be the pause of my work with Catalyst, and the subsequent pause of my paycheck with them. Sure there would be a cost...a very serious cost.
But this "sabbatical" was necessary for me, and after realizing that there is NEVER a good time to break away, I finally pulled the trigger shortly after Catalyst West Coast. It's been almost 3 years since I began serving as the Catalyst Road Trip/National Tour Ambassador meeting with leaders all over the country...an adventure that has been absolutely amazing, full of countless stories and memories that will last a lifetime. But I have to admit that I didn't navigate this journey as well as I could have. I let myself get burned out...which is why I needed a break.
These past 6 weeks have been the best 6 weeks of my life learning from "off the radar" leaders who lead from a place of patience and rest. I couldn't possibly share all that I’m processing, but I did want to share 4 lessons I learned during my time away. And it would probably be more appropriate to admit these are lessons that I have not "learned," but am learning:
4 Lessons I Am Learning...
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Live Life In The Present.
Living in the present is critical to living in peace. Obsessing over past failures stirs shame and obsessing over past successes stirs recycled pride. Both are cancerous. Compulsively dreaming of the future can stir an insatiable need for control. It’s rooted in fear that the future may not turn out the way it "should." One of the quickest ways I am learning to reconnect with the present is to practice restorative breathing – closing my eyes for a few moments and letting my thoughts focus on deep breaths allowing me to pause in any moment and once again become present with reality. Being present invites peace, and peace allows space for me to respond to whatever life throws at me. I’m learning how to respond in peace, not react in impulse. -
Live Life In Consultation.
It's easy to live life alone. I'm 31 and single; for years I have learned how to survive by taking care of myself…by myself. And herein lies a great illusion - it's impossible to successfully care for myself by myself. I'm learning we were never designed to do this. "Alone" is not an option. Living life in consultation means inviting others into the decision making process - not just "yes" friends but friends who will honestly respond to my selfishly blind and manipulative ideas with, "Are you kidding? That’s crazy!" When I allow others into this process they help expose the reality that the person I often deceive and manipulate the most is myself. My true friends will save me from me. When I make decisions alone I walk on a tightrope of impulse desperately trying to not fall...when I reason through decisions with others, in consultation, I give myself the best chance to make healthy choices. -
An Open Palm Is More Powerful Than A Closed Fist.
It's surrender vs. control. And while surrender is delayed in its gratification it is sure to invite long-term joy NEVER found in the immediate & temporal satisfaction of control. This is not new. We’ve all played this game, and we know the rules! Yet it's still SOOOOO tempting to fall back into old patterns and take the reigns believing I really do know what I'm doing. The irony is that this line of thinking is often isolated, (see # 2, above) and if I were my own audience I would plead with myself, "STOP! WAIT!" Surrender is rooted in patience...and patience is rooted in faith. Do I truly believe that God is working behind the scenes, on my behalf? "For from days of old they have not heard nor perceived by ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him,” Isaiah 64:4. - The Father Does Not Shout, He Whispers.
It wasn't until I shut everything off that I slowly realized how much I tune into that which is the most immediately appealing...to that which "wins" my attention, and everything around me seems to SHOUT and compete for it - the television I watch, the movies I see, the music I listen to, the books I read, dare I say even the church I go to??? It's easy to see that much of my life is influenced by the winner of stage time. But the Father never competes for the stage. He is quite in His love. He does not shout. He whispers. (Zephaniah 3:17 & 1 Kings 19:12) As my senses are tuned to the shouts around me I may miss the gentle voice of One who seeks to offer peace and life, anchors amidst the storm of attention-seekers. A whisper can only be heard in the quiet...I am learning to allow the quiet to take center stage. It's not an easy battle, and one that I often lose. But in those moments when I stop, breathe, and rest, I give myself the best chance to connect with God. Even if it's just 5 minutes, it's 5 minutes of peace. I'm not advocating life as a monastic monk. However, I am learning that "the quiet" is possible; it just requires me to stop when my natural impulse is to run. I am learning how to tune my senses to a whisper instead of a shout.
Re-entering the real world has been more diffuclt than leaving it - it's the most intense culture shock I've ever experienced. The speed of life is a lot faster than I remember, but the joy is in the journey, and it's one step at a time. As the roots of these lessons continue to deepen I trust that God is doing something far greater than my ability to comprehend it.
May these lessons of personal introspection fuel you in your leadership journey. May we continue to learn how to fight for the quiet and enjoy moments of true rest. We appeal to a patient God who invites us into the same…