(Adapted from a section, edited from Dave's new book called XEALOTS: Defying the Gravity of Normality)
“Great rap should have all kinds of unresolved layers that you don’t necessarily figure out the first time you listen to it. Instead it plants dissonance in your head. You can enjoy a song that knocks in the club or has witty punch lines the first time you hear it. But great rap retains mystery. It leaves sh*t rattling around in your head that won’t make sense till the fifth or sixth time through. It challenges you.
. . . People don’t bother trying to get it. The problem isn’t in the rap or the rapper or the culture. The problem is that so many people don’t even know how to listen to the music.”—Jay Z, De-coded
I love asking college students, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Sometimes I get a detailed answer, the five-year plan that includes their career path, a future wedding date and kids’ names and genders. Usually though, they reply with embarrassment the three words that we never want to say:
“I DON’T KNOW.”
Much like our exercise in describing the Grand Canyon, for me this is actually a trick question.
And “I don’t know” is the best possible answer.
It’s one of the lamest things we’ve done—convincing our young people that they should have their whole lives all figured out. If there’s any part of the five-year plan that’s not defined, we make them feel like they’re doing something wrong.
You’re not married yet?
You don’t have kids yet?
You’re changing jobs again?
When are you going to settle down?
For anyone out there in your 20’s, let me just say: don’t worry about it. Think of this decade as the freshman year of your life—its ok to be undeclared. In fact, it’s actually a great place to be—it leaves you totally open to all the possibilities that God might have in mind for you.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is John 3:8—“The wind blows wherever it pleases, you hear its sound, but you don’t know where it comes from or where it’s going, that’s how it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
Let me add, “And everyone born in the 80’s.” On behalf of people born before that, let me say I’m sorry for the persecution you’ve faced. We grew up in a time where everything was set in stone a lot sooner, but I know that’s not how it is for you, and that’s OK.
Like when Israel was wandering in the desert, God gave them enough food and guidance for the day. Can you handle that?
No matter what age you are, you’ve got something even better than a five-year plan: OPEN HANDS. Sit down, open up your hands and say to God, “whatever you want me to do, wherever you want me to do, I’m in.” When people ask, “Where will you be in five years?” instead of being embarrassed you can take joy in the fact that it could be ANYWHERE.
Overvaluing initiative
The life of a XEALOT is a life of response. A life to follow God rather than always trying to make it happen.
Yeah, you “go-getters” out there, you get a lot of attention. Always forcing the action.
Give me a team of people who know how to watch, wait, and listen. The ones, who fast, pray and surrender rather than always trying to take control. These are the ones who become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit; they understand how to let God guide them through life.
That’s what Jesus was talking about in John 21—he tells Peter “when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” He’s describing spiritual maturity in a way that’s opposite to how we normally see it. Normally we think when we’re young, we have to do what other people tell us—our parents put us in a car seat and drive us around, our teachers give us assignments and grade us based on how closely we met their expectations. We look forward to the time when we can get our drivers’ license, drive wherever we want to go, do whatever we want to do. Growing up equals more independence.
But Jesus says that kind of independence is a sign of immaturity—it’s when you’re young that you go wherever you want to go. When you’re old, he says you “stretch out your hands” and allow yourself to be led. For Jesus, true maturity equals more dependence.
It’s funny—you almost have to read that paragraph a couple times to get it right, it feels like there’s a typo or something. But no—that’s the XEALOT life. Not making it happen, but letting things happen, flowing with God without having to force it.
Isaiah 40:31, the prophet writes, ‘but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary and walk and not faint.’ Waiting, being still and being silent demonstrates you’re letting God lead. You trust him.
It makes me think of baseball. Some people think that baseball is the most boring sport. They watch for hours and think, “nothing is happening.”
What makes baseball amazing is not what happens but what’s about to happen. Every pitch is rich with possibility—it could be a home run, or the start of a rally, or an out that changes the course of the game…or just a ball.
That’s how waiting on God feels. Even when it’s over a long period of time, it’s not boring, it’s exciting. There’s a constant sense of expectation for what’s to come.
Our “making it happen” is like the drunken fan running onto the field, thinking his “initiative” is adding some excitement to the game.
But for the sober fans, we wait, our hearts pounding, feeling something you may not be able to put it into words, something that may not be well-defined. In the unknown, we hope.