6 Weeks Away & Unplugged

I didn't think it was possible - 6 weeks away from the world as I knew it...away from anything & everything requiring wires, chords, and batteries.  No cell phone for 6 weeks?!  No computer for 6 weeks?!  What about facebook???  (Well, let's be honest, my facebook was entirely automated anyway).  But not twitter!  My personal twitter would surely suffer, and what about the @catalystleader twitter???  Again, let's be honest, Jesse has that on lock down - he's our twitter guru.  Who knows, maybe @catalystleader would benefit from the lack of personal tweets reminding everyone that I live in Orange County paradise, "hey everyone, weather for today - yup, 70, sunny, and perfect! :)"  Beyond the social media losses would be the pause of my work with Catalyst, and the subsequent pause of my paycheck with them.  Sure there would be a cost...a very serious cost.

But this "sabbatical" was necessary for me, and after realizing that there is NEVER a good time to break away, I finally pulled the trigger shortly after Catalyst West Coast.  It's been almost 3 years since I began serving as the Catalyst Road Trip/National Tour Ambassador meeting with leaders all over the country...an adventure that has been absolutely amazing, full of countless stories and memories that will last a lifetime.  But I have to admit that I didn't navigate this journey as well as I could have.  I let myself get burned out...which is why I needed a break.

These past 6 weeks have been the best 6 weeks of my life learning from "off the radar" leaders who lead from a place of patience and rest.  I couldn't possibly share all that I’m processing, but I did want to share 4 lessons I learned during my time away.  And it would probably be more appropriate to admit these are lessons that I have not "learned," but am learning:

4 Lessons I Am Learning...

1. Live Life In The Present.
   Living in the present is critical to living in peace.  Obsessing over past failures stirs shame and obsessing over past successes stirs recycled pride.  Both are cancerous.  Compulsively dreaming of the future can stir an insatiable need for control.  It’s rooted in fear that the future may not turn out the way it "should."  One of the quickest ways I am learning to reconnect with the present is to practice restorative breathing – closing my eyes for a few moments and letting my thoughts focus on deep breaths allowing me to pause in any moment and once again become present with reality.  Being present invites peace, and peace allows space for me to respond to whatever life throws at me.  I’m learning how to respond in peace, not react in impulse. 

2. Live Life In Consultation.
   It's easy to live life alone.  I'm 31 and single; for years I have learned how to survive by taking care of myself…by myself.  And herein lies a great illusion - it's impossible to successfully care for myself by myself.  I'm learning we were never designed to do this.  "Alone" is not an option.  Living life in consultation means inviting others into the decision making process - not just "yes" friends but friends who will honestly respond to my selfishly blind and manipulative ideas with, "Are you kidding?  That’s crazy!"  When I allow others into this process they help expose the reality that the person I often deceive and manipulate the most is myself.  My true friends will save me from me.  When I make decisions alone I walk on a tightrope of impulse desperately trying to not fall...when I reason through decisions with others, in consultation, I give myself the best chance to make healthy choices.

3. An Open Palm Is More Powerful Than A Closed Fist.
   It's surrender vs. control.  And while surrender is delayed in its gratification it is sure to invite long-term joy NEVER found in the immediate & temporal satisfaction of control.  This is not new.  We’ve all played this game, and we know the rules!  Yet it's still SOOOOO tempting to fall back into old patterns and take the reigns believing I really do know what I'm doing.  The irony is that this line of thinking is often isolated, (see # 2, above) and if I were my own audience I would plead with myself, "STOP!  WAIT!"  Surrender is rooted in patience...and patience is rooted in faith.  Do I truly believe that God is working behind the scenes, on my behalf?  "For from days of old they have not heard nor perceived by ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him,” Isaiah 64:4.

4. The Father Does Not Shout, He Whispers.
   It wasn't until I shut everything off that I slowly realized how much I tune into that which is the most immediately appealing...to that which "wins" my attention, and everything around me seems to SHOUT and compete for it - the television I watch, the movies I see, the music I listen to, the books I read, dare I say even the church I go to???  It's easy to see that much of my life is influenced by the winner of stage time.  But the Father never competes for the stage.  He is quite in His love.  He does not shout.  He whispers.  (Zephaniah 3:17 & 1 Kings 19:12)  As my senses are tuned to the shouts around me I may miss the gentle voice of One who seeks to offer peace and life, anchors amidst the storm of attention-seekers.  A whisper can only be heard in the quiet...I am learning to allow the quiet to take center stage.  It's not an easy battle, and one that I often lose.  But in those moments when I stop, breathe, and rest, I give myself the best chance to connect with God.  Even if it's just 5 minutes, it's 5 minutes of peace.  I'm not advocating life as a monastic monk.  However, I am learning that "the quiet" is possible; it just requires me to stop when my natural impulse is to run.  I am learning how to tune my senses to a whisper instead of a shout.

Re-entering the real world has been more diffuclt than leaving it - it's the most intense culture shock I've ever experienced.  The speed of life is a lot faster than I remember, but the joy is in the journey, and it's one step at a time.  As the roots of these lessons continue to deepen I trust that God is doing something far greater than my ability to comprehend it. 

May these lessons of personal introspection fuel you in your leadership journey.  May we continue to learn how to fight for the quiet and enjoy moments of true rest.  We appeal to a patient God who invites us into the same…

16 Comments »

1. Amazing lessons…they parallel some of the things I’ve been learning in this season. I have been thinking a lot about how our faith requires us to live in the present.

   I have always been a past and future girl. I look to the past to know what to trust, to believe in, to guide me in my steps. And I live with guilt, anger, shame, and regret. I look towards the future to direct my steps. And I live with fear and anxiety.

   So I’m working on being a today girl. What opportunities has He put in front TODAY.

   Glad you’re back, LV!

   Comment by Lindsey Nobles - Jul 01, 2010 @ 10:26 AM

2. Thanks for sharing! I began following the Compassion Kenya trip and that’s when I stumbled across your blog. I learned many God inspiring lessons from the people on your trip!
   Thanks for the reminder about involving others in my decision making. I tend to think that I can/should do everything without help!

   Comment by Shay - Jul 01, 2010 @ 10:40 AM

3. LV - Proud of you.  Great learnings and I am going to take a 10 day (Im a wimp I know) break next week inspired by you…

   But lets be honest you don’t have a real cell phone anyway.
   :)
   Shawn

   Comment by Shawn Wood - Jul 01, 2010 @ 10:58 AM

4. such rich truths in those lessons. wisdom that only comes from purposefully pressing into God’s heart…

   i’m learning a ton about surrender vs. control right now. realizing how much i cling to the illusion of control, death-gripping the mirage as though it were real. i’m in a season of letting go, and it’s scary. ultimately freeing, i know. but right now? just plain scary.

   i’m glad you’re back, LV. and i’m glad you’re back wholer and fuller than when you left. we’ll all be better off because of what God’s able to do in and through you as a result.

   Comment by alece - Jul 01, 2010 @ 12:39 PM

5. Wow, thank you for sharing this. I’m so often tempted to do the same thing. It gets harder and harder all of the time for us to unplug and hear His quiet voice. I think that’s one of the reasons I consistently find myself rebelling (though I haven’t given it up) against social media. I hate the phone so that’s never been a problem for me. Haha. But the rest? I feel sometimes like I hear everything BUT Him. I’m just not sure how to practically deal with that.

   Powerful thoughts here.

   Comment by Elaina - Jul 01, 2010 @ 12:39 PM

6. LV,

   I agree with what you say and experienced.  In 1991-92 I had built 32 homes in 10 months as the Builder.  I stopped after house #36 to go to the Oregon Coast alone for 2 weeks.  Just sit and pray and read Bible stories.  I really struggled on days 3 & 4.  I was 29 at the time. 

   I have always thought I was the funnest person I have ever spent time with.  People call me the life of the party, and when alone I really enjoy being alone for any amount of time.  At the time I did not even have an email account but my brick cell phone was always burning up in my hand and it did not have a vibration button for silent mode.  All that to say….for me it was a great disconnect.  I have sent many ministry friends down to the coast for the same.  They all come back with your report.  I personally think your disconnect was harder than mine because of all the advancements and the nature of your job.  Just glad you made such a gutsy call.  You will speak of it as I do….for the next 20 years at least.  Keep reporting on it.

   Jim Small
   Homebuilder (Lewis and Clark Homes)
   Imago Dei Community 8.5 years

   Comment by Jim S. in Portland - Jul 01, 2010 @ 12:44 PM

7. such great comments on here…I love the question Lindsey asked in the first comment, “what has He put before me today?”  I know I can’t answer that without being present and aware of the moment, so good.  It’s good to be back, thanks Lindsey!

   Shawn, quit dissing the old phone.  :)  I know I don’t have the iPhone 4, but that’s ok, I don’t need my phone to cook me breakfast, wash my clothes, or offer a one-way video call with millions of other people who can’t video chat yet!  :)
   (and yes, I just used the word, “dissing”!)  Seriously, Shawn, love that you are going to break away as well.  I would love to hear what you learn!

   Alece, I think the words scary and surrender go hand-in-hand…at least for me.  Thanks for your words, I totally relate.

   Elaina, I love the sincerity of your response - I don’t know to practically deal with it either.  I think that’s why inviting others into the process relieves me of the pressure of having to figuring it out.  I am growing to appreciate those friendships with people who have the same desire to hear His voice amidst the chaos around us…I’m right there with you.

   Jim, you built 36 houses in one year!  You should STILL be on a sabbatical :)  Days 3 & 4 were tough for me too…it was almost like experiencing withdrawals.  Thanks for taking a moment to share your thoughts, and I’m still journaling hoping to mine out more gems from this season.

   Thanks everyone!

   Comment by LV Hanson - Jul 01, 2010 @ 06:51 PM

8. this hit home in a BIG way… “Compulsively dreaming of the future can stir an insatiable need for control.  It’s rooted in fear that the future may not turn out the way it “should.”

   I don’t think I knew how badly I needed to hear/read that.  I get dreaming confused with idolizing something entirely. 

   thanks for sharing, LV.

   Comment by Meredith - Jul 01, 2010 @ 11:09 PM

9. I did wonder how you’re so accessible to so many, yet maintain any form of sanity ;) Thanks, LV, for sharing these special gems that you’re discovering from your recent focused time of rest. Convicting…so, so, so, convicting.

   In ministry, being pulled in a hundred different directions and having to be so accessible 24/7 wears my soul and I’m caught in this vicious unhealthy cycle of just toughing it out, getting better, feeling exhausted, toughing it out, getting better, feeling exhausted… As I type this, I caught myself physically taking a deep breath, turning my eyes to focus on the now–not failures from past nor fears of the future, releasing my tense and tight grip, opening my ears to fully listen to wise counsel, and quieting myself before God…this will be a good daily discipline for me.

   We learn so much from you and am thankful to have you back online! But as the chaotic speed of the world tries to catch you in its whirlwind again, be grounded and pace yourself not with what the world demands but with God’s sacred rhythm of life.

   Comment by Anita K. - Jul 03, 2010 @ 01:52 AM

10. Thanks, LV, for sharing what God’s been teaching you over the past couple of months.

    i’m not sure I’d be able to go “off the grid” as a mom. Maybe someday… Believe me there are times when I lock myself in the bathroom for a little while hiding. That’s about as off radar as I can manage these days.

    But i’m happy for you that you can do that and that you’ve learned so much.

    I can’t wait to hear more soon.

    Comment by Sarah Markley - Jul 06, 2010 @ 11:59 AM

11. Proud of you, LV.  Be gentle on yourself in this season of transition.  And know that in the quiet depths of your every breath, God waits for you with eternal longing.

    Comment by abbie - Jul 09, 2010 @ 10:12 AM

12. LV,

    Grateful you were able to unplug and glean perspective.  As I was reading through your transparent reflections, I smiled big while remembering the early days of “Living Victoriously” at NSHS…and thanked God for the work He has done in your life (and will continue).

    Now…on to the practical…Chris and I will begin praying that the Lord will bring you a helpmate.  You are sufficient in Jesus…however, being hooked up with a life partner is an off the chain blessing that brings 24-7 accountability and invaluable support.  Open palm (no closed fist bro)...just sayin!

    By Grace,
    Freeman

    Comment by Matt Freeman - Jul 09, 2010 @ 11:13 PM

13. Not quite sure how I ended up here…one blog led to another…and really, I need to pick up my kids from VBS! (And hey! I’m in OC…but I digress) But I loved that you took the step of faith and stepped away. Jesus did the same thing with his disciples…asked them to get away and rest. In April, my internet and phone shut off and God had me right were he wanted me….focused on Him. For months, I poured over the Word as my children went to school and my husband went to work. In June, my father suddenly passed away. I didn’t choose to rest, God allowed me to rest to prepare me for what lay ahead. Besides having an amazing peace when my father passed, I got the fire and passion for His word…and um, somehow in a weird, God way, I am now leading an online bible study on rest for the women in my church. I’m still scratching my head at that….but anyway…..

    So, I am not a twitter, facebooker, cool kid on the block…but I can still be distracted to the things of this World…God has shown me, too, He is enough. He is actually more than enough. He is abundantly, overflowing enough.

    Comment by Melissa - Jul 12, 2010 @ 02:25 PM

14. Great post, LV. Six weeks sounds amazing to get away in general, but to completely unplug? Very impressive. (Although Shawn’s right. That phone is barely a step above a rotary dial, my friend)

    I struggle with being unplugged for six hours let alone six weeks. You are definitely an inspiration.

    So excited to see what God does next as a result :)

    Comment by Dawn Nicole Baldwin - Jul 13, 2010 @ 04:24 PM

15. I was wondering why you fell off the radar for a while. Glad you took time to listen to that still small voice. Let’s get breakfast soon.

    Comment by Bruce Bartolomeo - Jul 21, 2010 @ 11:14 AM

16. We missed you while you were gone!  So glad it was a great experience as you boldly went where too few dare to go!

    Comment by Eric Bryant - Aug 06, 2010 @ 08:13 AM

Sorry, but commenting is no longer available for this post.