More Time with Fewer People

I love mentoring.

Next to my family, nothing else I’ve done has given me more satisfaction or fulfillment. Nothing. Not making money. Not getting awards. Not traveling.

Nothing.

I can’t really explain how I discovered it. There I was, teaching a singles Sunday school class at a large Baptist church outside Atlanta, Georgia. Although I had been a confessing Christian since childhood, I had been a genuine Christ follower for only a few years. But I was serious about making disciples, and I put a lot into this class, trying to inspire these young people to move God from a category to an intimate personal relationship. The class was growing, and I could see people get it . . . surrendering their lives to Jesus Christ and growing in their relationship with Him.

Each week it seemed one of the single guys would come up at the end of class or call me on Monday. “Hey, Regi, can we get together this week? I want to talk to you about my job” or “my girlfriend” or “my dad.” I didn’t think much of it. I was older than they were, fairly successful, and somewhat wise about the world.

A few days later we’d meet early in the morning at some breakfast place and dive into the issue the young man was facing. I would ask a lot of questions, leading him to think things through, and usually bringing him face-to-face with the wisdom of what God has to say in Scripture. Coffee finished, advice dispensed, and I was off to the office and to my paying job.

Several hundred times this scenario was repeated over the course of thirteen years—until I heard a speaker say something that rocked my mentoring world. He said:

More time spent with fewer people equals greater kingdom impact.

It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn’t making the best use of my time; that I could make a greater impact for God by being more focused. Maybe I should pick a few of these bright young men and make a more serious commitment of time and energy to them. Instead of being issue-driven and reactive, I could be principle-driven and proactive, working into their lives the truth that God has shown me through my experience (i.e., mistakes) and what I’ve learned about life by applying His Word.

So I looked around my life - work world, church world, neighborhood and friends world - and picked out every young, married, high-potential guy that I knew. I targeted thirty-somethings because that was my age when I most needed a mentor but didn’t have one. I sent these young men an e-mail and offered to spend a year (three hours a month) with them; with the intention of teaching them what I’ve learned about God, marriage, business, fatherhood, and relationships. Twelve of the twenty-seven guys that I e-mailed replied and said they’d be interested, and I picked the eight that I thought I could help the most.

I called it “radical mentoring” because it seemed radical at the time. I now call it “next-generation mentoring,” because it’s really not radical; it’s not even new. But more on that in a minute.

I believe this mentoring has had a significant impact. Lives have been changed, marriages have been saved, children have been dealt with in a more loving way, and my life has been incredibly blessed in the process. But there’s another major turn in the story of how this book came to be.

Not too long ago I awoke in the middle of the night with this thought: This is what Jesus did! It came to me that next-generation mentoring is a model that Jesus invented two thousand years ago. Unknowingly, I had stumbled onto a set of practices that should be obvious to all of us but until now haven’t been.

We have visualized Jesus as CEO, Jesus as an environmentalist, and even thought about what Jesus’ politics might have been. But in reality, in history, regardless of your religious beliefs, Jesus was a mentor. Those he mentored became totally committed to his mission, worked together as an effective team, and through their efforts, arguably one-third of the world’s population believes in what they taught. From eleven people to two billion people, Jesus was a pretty good mentor.

Now I see that what I was doing wasn’t really so radical after all. I was simply doing what Jesus did . . . investing in the next generation.

No wonder these mentoring groups have born such fruit. No wonder they’ve been so fulfilling for me. No wonder the guys who’ve gone through the mentoring year with me have seen their lives changed forever. And no wonder mentoring has become such a fulfilling and gratifying endeavor for me personally. I’m just following in the footsteps of the world’s greatest mentor. I’m just doing what Jesus did with His disciples.

Wow.

Intentionally mentoring younger people in a group setting has been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. And those people whom I have inspired to follow this model and do the same thing have shared the same excitement. “I’ll do this for the rest of my life,” is a quote I hear.

I hope I’ll inspire you to become a next-generation mentor. There’s no age limit and no price for admission; just a willingness to share. You’ll find the best friends you’ve ever had, feel the most useful and fulfilled, and be blessed in ways that only the Father can bless you.

Come.

Read on.

5 Comments »

1. It is curious how we perceive things as “cutting edge” or “radical” and yet, “there is nothing new under the sun”  Ecclesiastes 1:9.  I, too, have been mentoring for years, yet this year feel driven to more intentionally refine the process to yield greater results.  I found this article to be timely and encouraging… I think I’ll grab a copy of the book!  Thanks! NJ

   Comment by Jean Taylor - Jan 06, 2010 @ 11:34 AM

2. I have not read this book YET (but will soon), but these words are so very true.  We have just created an “intentional discipleship process” called The Journey in which people are being mentored through various stages of Christian development, including spiritual disciplines.  I never dreamed that this mentoring ministry would be so attractive to people who consider themselves “advanced” Christians.  Not only did Jesus mentor, he was also mentored by His Father while walking this sod.  Seems we need mentoring while we mentor others.  Great article.  I look forward to reading the book.  JLS

   Comment by Jonathan Smith - Jan 19, 2010 @ 10:01 AM

3. I love the idea that more time with fewer people leads to greater impact.  It’s counter-intuitive.  I developed a process to do this called Journey Partner Groups.  It is designed to help people make wiser decisions in their life through shared story and relationship.  Specifically a group of 3 helps mentor each other through sharing our personal life story, looking at our personalities and how they affect our choices, identifying our “sweet spot,” and learning a decision making process. Like Regi we have seen this save marriages, shape career decisions, and give Christ followers a way to help others who are ready to take another step as a Christ follower.

   Comment by John Witte - Jan 19, 2010 @ 03:32 PM

4. Mentoring is one of the greatest leadership tools to develop future leaders but it is also the greatest neclected tool, especially in the church.  I wonder .... would we have so many vacant positions in a church if proper mentoring took place?  Just ask church leaders what mentoring is and you will be surprised to see how many different definitions of mentoring they come up with.  Do they understand what mentoring is?  I am looking forward to reading your book.  Jesus is the best mentor there ever was and will be and we can learn a lot from how he did it.

   Comment by Mart Griesel - Jan 19, 2010 @ 05:38 PM

5. Regi what you’ve mentioned is exactly what my husband and I have been doing. I guess you’ve given us food for thought to structure the whole thing. Thanks a lot.

   Comment by Shalini - Jan 21, 2010 @ 12:22 AM

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