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The Death of Self Esteem
By Phil Cooke

It appears the self-esteem movement is finally dead.  It all began back in 1969, when psychologist Nathaniel Brandon published a highly acclaimed paper called The Psychology of Self-Esteem.  He argued that “feelings of self-esteem were the key to success in life,” and his idea soon became the hot new thing in education.  At the apex of the craze, the California Legislature even established a “Self Esteem Task Force” for the state’s schools.

But the only problem with teaching self-esteem?  It doesn’t work. 

Writing recently in the Wall Street Journal about the 15,000 studies the movement generated, reviewer Kay Hymowitz concludes:

“And what do they show? That high self-esteem doesn't improve grades, reduce anti-social behavior, deter alcohol drinking or do much of anything good for kids.  In fact, telling kids how smart they are can be  counterproductive.  Many children who are convinced that they are little geniuses tend not to put much effort into their work.  Others are troubled by the latent anxiety of adults who feel it necessary to praise them constantly.”

The new book NurtureShock by Po Bronsom and Ashley Merryman may put the final nail in the coffin for the self-esteem movement.  For instance, as Hymowitz points out, the book reveals that:

“Drop-out programs [based on self-esteem] don't work. Neither do anti-drug programs. The most popular of them, D.A.R.E (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), developed in 1983 by the Los Angeles Police Department, has become a more familiar sight in American schools than algebra class. By 2000, 80% of American school districts were using D.A.R.E. materials in some form. Now, after extensive study, comes the news: the program has no long-term, and only mild short-term, effects.  Oh, and those tests that school districts use to determine giftedness in young children?  They're just about useless.”

My beef with self-esteem is how it’s invaded America’s churches.  In a well-intentioned effort to encourage and motivate people, we’ve created a “theology-lite” where we rarely refer to scripture, never discuss the hard truths of the Bible, and avoid words like “sin” because they might turn-off visitors. 

The famous REVEAL study from Willow Creek is a powerful confirmation that programs don’t create disciples.  In fact, The Center for Bible Engagement in Lincoln, Nebraska has just completed a landmark research study that reveals regular church attendance has little to no effect at all on behaviors like marital infidelity, drug dependency, financial crisis, emotional sickness, or other undesirable behaviors.  They discovered the real “tipping point” of spiritual maturity happens when we encounter the Bible at least four times a week. 

Reading the Bible four or more times a week.  Who would have thought?

And yet I visited one nationally known church in Southern California recently where they actually discouraged members from bringing a Bible to the worship service.  When I asked about it, their response was, “We don’t want a non-believer to feel intimidated sitting next to someone with a Bible.”

Huh?

I’m all for motivation and inspiration.  But truth is truth.  Maybe it’s time we stopped candy coating it and give it to them straight.

There.  I feel much better about myself.

Phil Cooke is a writer, speaker, filmmaker & media consultant who's work focuses on creating personal and organizational cultures where real change happens and creative ideas become reality.  Christianity Today magazine calls him a "media guru," and his  media company, Cooke Pictures, advises many of the largest and most effective churches & media ministries in the world.  As a founding partner in the commercial production company TWC Films, he also produces national advertising for some of the largest companies in the country, including two TV commercials for Super Bowl 2008.  His books and blog at philcooke.com are changing the way religious organizations use media to tell their story.  He has lectured at universities like Yale, University of California at Berkeley, UCLA, and is an adjunct professor at the King's College & Seminary, and Biola University in Los Angeles.

6 Comments »

  1. I’ve thought this for over 10 years now. It’s not self-esteem that we need. It’s Christ-esteem. Our confidence isn’t in ourself. It’s in Christ. There. Now I feel better too. Terrific article!

    Comment by Darien Gabriel - Oct 30, 2009 @ 10:43 AM

  2. Good article.. Truth is truth and in their spirits, people know when you are truth talking or just blowing smoke… Who would have thought… read God’s Word… Sounds simple, is simple and even easy…

    Comment by Robin McCoy - Oct 30, 2009 @ 11:53 AM

  3. Thanks, Phil.  We have had enough of ‘seeker friendly’ Christianity.  We do a great dis-service to the lost if we back off the truth for the sake of how it might be perceived by them.  It’s the truth of the Bible that everyone needs.  Without that truth we have nothing to say that has any power or eternal significance.  Again, thank you for standing up for TRUTH.

    Comment by Mark Owens - Oct 30, 2009 @ 02:21 PM

  4. A great pastor once told me that self esteem is really defeating.  If you esteem yourself… how far does that really get you?  To improve our self esteem we usually have to downplay our weaknesses, and exaggerate our strengths… I’m pretty sure that’s what the Bible calls lying.

    However, we can raise our perceived worth and value by elevating the one who esteems us.  If the creator of the universe comes to us and says that he loves us, forgives us, and we are welcome in His kingdom… that kind of esteem goes far beyond what self-esteem could ever come close to!

    Comment by Seth Trimmer - Nov 04, 2009 @ 01:46 PM

  5. Great article! It’s cool to see secular research back up what God has been saying all along…

    As is typically His style, God made is pretty simple to understand. The word “esteem” is only used once in the Scripture. Philippians 2:3…

    “in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves”

    Maybe reading the Bible 4x’s a week is not such a bad idea…

    Comment by Jeff Johnson - Nov 04, 2009 @ 04:42 PM

  6. As an educator I have walked this arena for a long while. We wrestle with “the” barriers that kids come to school with and don’t want to hurt their self-esteem and some are failing and the social promotion gurus say don’t hold the back. Well do we bruise their self-esteem when they drop out or try to intervene to help them be successful.  Thanks for the article; TREMENDOUS!  To the detriment of this culturally relevant church history we are living-what a shame that a church doesn’t want to offend a sinner by bringing Bibles?  To much movement to the seeker friendly sensitive folks, might as well send them on to hell’s eternity as give the kids a social promotion. Oh my I feel better now!

    Comment by Bunks - Nov 18, 2009 @ 08:35 PM

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