The Slow Fade

Few would argue that some of the most passionate, gifted energy among us is housed in those who are college-aged. And yet few have succeeded in pointing such passion and energy toward lasting, healthy ends-especially in the church.

Most churches and families have programmed a finish line at twelfth grade. We walk our seniors out the door, breathe a deep sigh of relief, and let them disappear. The problem is most never come back. Too old for youth group-and feeling too displaced by labels like "single" or "young adult," the majority of college-aged Christians disconnect from faith communities. "They'll rework themselves into our system once grown-up," we of an older generation surmise. "Once they're married with kids and able to tithe. For now, however, they seem like a lost cause and our attentions are better focused elsewhere."

This slow fade is slowly eliminating the potentials and influence of this generation and thus, the impact of the modern church.

What would it look like for a senior pastor, a college pastor, and a twentysomething to sit around the table and flesh-out issues of the current generation's fade from the church? In The Slow Fade, Reggie Joiner, founder and CEO of the reThink Group, Chuck Bomar, former college pastor of Cornerstone in Simi Valley, CA, and I have done just this. Moving between perspectives of pastor, father, and friend, we confront this fading generation and lend insights toward its halt.

The typical model of twentysomething ministry involves about four worship songs, a sermon, and an emotive ending song to stir the heightening finale. (In the more eclectic circles, the front- and back-ends of worship might be swapped.) From here the emotionally caffeinated crowd disperses to the nearest coffeehouse, Waffle House, or frat house and flirts with the herd until the next gathering.

And we wonder why adolescents are struggling to adequately move into adulthood. We wonder why eighteen to twenty-five year olds have little to no lasting involvement with our faith communities. When the reality is, as adult believers, we have some responsibility in this. We're among the reasons adolescents are not healthily assimilating into adulthood, because we've not shown them how their role matters. Furthermore, how crucial they are to our whole, should we ever hope to bring lasting Love to the world.

A discussion of the most overlooked and underdeveloped facet of the modern church, The Slow Fade makes a case for inter-generational relationships as the way to keep college-aged people engaged in faith. Leveraged belonging is necessary for lasting connectivity. Connecting college-aged people to the life of the church requires more than a flashy band, or even a relevant sermon. It requires individual care and a felt sense of belonging. If you show me my part in the whole, I will continue to show up. Meaning, the answer is not a new program and doesn't cost a dime. The answer lies within any willing adult wanting to have influence.

College-aged people are making some of the most critical choices of their lives. And any adult who chooses to invest in the life of a college student is likewise choosing to invest in a generation. More than ever, this age-stage needs a community of faith and willing individuals interested in their lives. And we have the chance to play that role. A clan of sleeping giants lies in our midst, and we have the chance to wake them-and maybe even be woken-up ourselves.

8 Comments »

1. “The typical model of twentysomething ministry involves about four worship songs, a sermon, and an emotive ending song to stir the heightening finale.  (In the more eclectic circles, the front- and back-ends of worship might be swapped.)  From here the emotionally caffeinated crowd disperses to the nearest coffeehouse, Waffle House, or frat house and flirts with the herd until the next gathering.”

   Yikes.

   Abbie, I certainly understand where you’re coming from - and I know that churchmanship, ecclesiology, and intergenerational assimilation could be far stronger within college ministry and young adult ministry. But this is a really hurtful paragraph and stance.

   That paragraph certainly doesn’t describe most college ministries (or at least the hundreds I’ve encountered). Nearly every major college ministry has much more to it than its front-door, large-group meeting. The description might look somewhat like their large-group gatherings, but even then, it’s pretty angry.

   Maybe it’s aimed more at the 15-30s gatherings that some churches have, but even those tend to have much more to their ministries - including, indeed, assimilation to small groups or the rest of the body. And these gatherings, though they may become widely known, are actually relatively irregular throughout the country.

   If this is what The Slow Fade is going to present, it’s really, really going to hurt a large segment of the Body. Thousands of college ministers and young adult ministers labor really faithfully out there, on campuses AND in churches. If the local church is going to learn how to do this better (and certainly, we should!), hopefully we’ll learn much about it from the very people who have been doing it (pretty well, actually!) for the last several decades.

   I do get what you’re saying - but it still hurts. (And not the good, truthy kind of gut-shot that we need, but the same hurt we’ve been feeling for years as our work - especially within college ministry specifically - is widely misunderstood by the Church at large.)

   Comment by Benson Hines - Mar 09, 2010 @ 07:57 PM

2. This book looks interesting. However, working with college students is more than a service (and maybe that’s what this is about) but the college service for us is a front door that leads to discipleship/coaching as well as relationships being built.

   That is what the college age desires, to be desired, to be loved, to be needed, to be wanted. They are so vulnerable right now and will never ask for help…for the most part. It’s been interesting to see how passion will drive whatever they do regardless of money or even relationships. This book seems to be geared more towards church college ministries (or lack there of as I’ve seen here) than the campus ministry.

   I definitely want to hear more of what Abbie has to say.

   Comment by Rahul - Mar 10, 2010 @ 11:13 AM

3. This is a much needed book!  If the church is going to be influential, it must have a multi-generational approach.  Yet many of today’s churches (if we were to be honest) continue to carry out programs, methods and philosophies that were implemented in the 50’s, 80’s and 90’s.  This is certainly not true of every church but it’s true of many churches.

   Comment by FamilyInsights.net - Mar 10, 2010 @ 09:11 PM

4. Don’t know where Benson is from, but there are at least hundreds of churches that are struggling with this very issue and believing they are doing their college-aged congregations justice by providing a remarkable amount of energy for a “front-door” that in reality is no more than a facade.  Not unlike the backlot cities and towns of Hollywood, the fronts are amazing and pay great attention to detail… and then you go through the door and there is nothing behind it.
   I think there is a reason why most church buildings… most public buildings don’t have front doors that open right into their largest rooms.  The personal, welcoming and relational entry rooms provide the foundation for comfort and confidence first.  And that is what WAY too many college ministries have lost sight of.
   Because we haven’t had a good handle (myself included) on how to approach this group’s very real and unique needs, we have been willing to at least feel good about one aspect of the ministry and stay numb to the rest.  I’m anxious to see where Abby’s work has led her and how it can hopefully fill in many of the gaps for those of us who are struggling.

   Comment by Scott - Mar 17, 2010 @ 01:43 PM

5. Hi Scott,

   Thanks for your pushback on this. You’re definitely right - LOTS of churches are struggling to meet this need. There’s no disagreement about that; I’ve talked with 2 of the three authors of this book (Abbie’s one of them) about that plenty. I have no disagreement with that.

   But I’ve also had the chance to explore college ministry around the U.S. (you can check out my work if you’re interested in all that - exploringcollegeministry.com). That naturally leads to learning about young adult ministry, too. And while there are indeed some churches that attempt an exclusive, midweek (or Sunday night) gathering that draws college students and young adults (and sometimes high schoolers), this is rarer than some people think.

   On the other hand, there are LOTS of churches that have a “contemporary” service - hundreds, like you said, or even thousands. But I don’t think that is what Abbie’s referring to here. While it may seem there’s not a big difference between a contemporary service and twentysomething ministry, the differences are pretty fundamental for this discussion. That format wouldn’t be considered “twentysomething ministry” by most who practice twentysomething or college ministry. If Abbie meant “contemporary weekend service,” then I misunderstood.

   Again, I completely agree that churches need deep help to understand this area better. I’m excited about any resources that attack that difficulty with wisdom! I’ve seen with my own eyes (and heard with my own ears) the many difficulties of this area, and I’ve had the chance to address it a little myself. I’m just hopeful that all our help won’t neglect learning from the many who have gone before us in this amazing endeavor.

   Comment by Benson Hines - Mar 17, 2010 @ 02:06 PM

6. Appreciating the dialogue stirring here.

   Rahul, your hopes on what The Slow Fade seem dead-on.  The book cracks open the heart and mind of a twenty-something and helps us learn to how to better care for their stage of life. 

   Peace,
   Abbie

   Comment by abbie smith - Mar 18, 2010 @ 09:43 PM

7. This introduction to Slow Fade, and the subsequent conversation above, suggests to me this is a needed perspective and perhaps an uncomfortable conversation for some.
   Clearly Mr. Hines’ is in the middle of this struggle but I find it a stretch to see the paragraph ending with “From here the emotionally caffeinated crowd disperses to the nearest coffeehouse, Waffle House, or frat house and flirts with the herd until the next gathering.” hurtful. I see it as a statement of fact. Our large churches seem teeming with these twenty-somethings operating this way. I would wholeheartedly disagree that this is not loving truth. It is clear from my perspective, straddling serving (and knowing the inside workings of a large church) and attending, that Abbie’s point is that Programs are not the solution, Relationships are.
   We, as modern Westerners, seem to seek scalability and efficiency in everything, church included. Slow Fade identifies the failings of such an approach as it pertains to this twenties generation and offers a renewed perspective, that places the idea of Loving Your Neighbor squarely in the middle of the fix.
   Personally, I’m anticipating a wonderful read (I love Abbie’s voice) and perhaps some polarizing conversations.

   Comment by Radford Harrell - Mar 19, 2010 @ 08:55 AM

8. Dear Abbie,

   Thanks to the courage and fortitude of a beautiful young woman, I can finally write a “Dear Abbie” letter.  HA!

   Abbie, from the reviews that I have read on this site, thank you for unmasking a deception that has so easily beset the church at times.

   I myself got saved at the age of 27.  In currently working with Kindergarten age children on a weekly basis, I can tell you from first hand experience that this message is relevant even at this tender age.

   My thoughts and prayers are with the Body of Christ as we move forward to take back the ground that we have unknowingly handed over to enemy territory.

   Marching For Him….............Clare Matthews

   Comment by clare matthews - Mar 22, 2010 @ 02:36 PM

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