The Power of Confessing Community

One morning last summer, I woke up and began a conversation with the Lord about the day ahead. As I got ready, talking to him about the things I needed his help with, a thought popped into my mind, “You lied yesterday.” It actually came more as a picture into my mind. I was standing in the hallway with Nate, a good friend, who asked me a very personal question that I didn’t want to answer. But instead of questioning why he was asking, I told a “half-truth.” You know, a lie that you can justify to yourself as “almost true.”

“You lied yesterday.” Ouch! I wanted to push the thought away and hide it in the darkness. I’m a pastor, that’s embarrassing, so my first inclination was to run and hide. “Let’s think about something else!” But I knew God wanted me to confess it. Resistant, I came to admit the truth to God first, “I didn’t speak the truth, Lord. Why did I feel the need to lie?” And as I prayed, I began to see fears of being misunderstood, fears of a lack of confidentiality, fears that drove me from the light. On the way to work, I called Nate, and I confessed to him. Nate, like a trusted friend, forgave me and lovingly asked, “Why did you feel the need to lie?” We had a great conversation about the last 10% of some past hurts we’d never fully resolved, and it felt healing to both of us.

God calls us to come out of the darkness and walk in the light with His Spirit and with others, but everything in me fears and resists living in confessing community. Why is it so challenging to lead this way?

You possess a mysterious power! Other people possess it as well. We wield the power to either wound or to heal one another. We’ve seen God’s grace-filled community heal broken marriages, substance abuse, anger issues, gender confusion, trust issues lingering from sexual abuse, pornography addictions…but healing almost always comes through community.  It’s God’s plan. Spirituality is relational!

It’s all about relationship with God and others—that’s what Jesus said—right? Love God, love others! But I find there’s something inside of me that fears and runs and hides automatically—it’s that old lie, “pretend or be condemned.” This is the fear that we as leaders must courageously attack if we want to truly lead others (as in “walk out in front”) in the way of Christ.

I’m convinced this is the whole point of Grace. God’s Grace offered through Christ was not given merely to one day get us into heaven, but to make possible moment-by-moment connection to God’s Spirit who can lead us into a new way of loving others—now and forever. Something powerfully healing happens when ordinary people simply confess their sins and struggles to God, and to one another. Walking in the light, John says, involves confession: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9 TNIV, italics mine)

The healing power of confession comes not just in confessing to God, but to one another as well: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16 TNIV, italics mine) Sin destroys the loving community God intended, and so God chooses to use his new community, which moment by moment courageously follows the leadership of his Spirit, to heal and restore one another. We become wounded healers only as we rely on God’s love, grace, and acceptance to enable us to walk in the light together without fear.

Why does it rarely happen? Because we’re all wounded and need healing. It’s scary for us to relate this way. It’s much safer to play religious shell-games like the Pharisees—pretending helps religious leaders feel “good” and safe and in control (and it murderously opposes the Messiah’s ways). We need God’s help moment by moment. God wants to lead us to be a healing community of simple, ordinary people who learn to accept, forgive, encourage, and walk with each other no matter how ugly or messy confession gets. That’s something we must learn. We don’t naturally do it. But when leaders do, it makes it safe for others to do the same. Suddenly we aren’t alone in it, and God does something through us together that we can never do for ourselves.

What are you hiding? Have you been completely honest and vulnerable with God and at least one other human being about all your sins, struggles, and defects? If not, where are you leading people—back into hiding? Can you hear God’s Spirit whispering, “It’s safe to come out of hiding, you can stop the game. My grace is sufficient, walk in my light with others and I will heal you and grow you together into powerfully loving people.”

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